Are you dreading a high-stakes meeting, a challenging professional task or an awkward conversation? I'm not, because I'm someone who has quietly dodged that kind of unpleasantness for years. If only I had a "power phrase" to activate, maybe things would have been different.
That is the advice of Amy Morin, author of The Mental Strength Playbook, for dealing with sticky situations. A "short, positive sentence you say to yourself in the moment", she explains, works as an effective two-minute reset. She used hers, she says, while answering difficult questions in a high-pressure meeting: "I activated my power phrase and told myself, I'm a strong, straightforward communicator."
Cynics (me) might pull a face and find the concept cringey; why not stand in a power pose while you're at it? They (I) might also suggest it sounds like a rebranding of "giving yourself a little talking-to" – something everyone does in stressful situations, unless you are the kind of sublimely nonchalant, confident superhuman who thrives on pressure.
But simple and cringey can be effective. Morin points to a study that suggests positive self-affirmations can help people solve problems under pressure, and another that indicates they can lead to real changes in behaviour.
Huh. When I absolutely must do something difficult, my pep talk traditionally inclines towards nagging myself – "Just get on with it" – or shrugging the whole thing off as not worth the worry. Neither is obviously inspirational, but I find them obscurely comforting.
I have, however, been haunted in recent months by the writer Oliver Burkeman's mantra for people daunted by change or the prospect of working on themselves (still me). We need to ask ourselves, Burkeman says, "How's that working out for you?"
"Not great" is the answer, I suppose: I've avoided challenging myself for so long that I now dread things as small as returning a pair of faulty trousers or overhearing my husband have a difficult phone conversation. It's no way to live, so maybe I do, in fact, need a proper, positive power phrase? Let's try it out: "I am a reliable, competent writer and I can finish this column." Wow, it works!