I felt stuck after a painful break-up in my mid-20s, burnt out from my job as a jail counselor and feeling "blah" overall. After a few months of nursing my broken heart, I finally got motivated: I enrolled in a graduate class, updated my resume, and began looking for a new path. Nine months later, I landed a corporate HR job and took my workouts to a whole new level. My broken heart was slowly fused back together — not because of a new relationship, but because I was distracted by my own personal and professional development.
Traditional revenge is likely to backfire
Nobody wins in war. Despite being wronged, jeopardizing your own reputation and mental health for revenge is never worth it. The person attempting to "cancel" another through bullying and badmouthing usually ends up looking worse in the end.
Success is a positive distraction
My father always says, "Distraction is the best medicine." How would you rather spend your energy: building your best life or plotting to take down someone else? Be so focused on your own agenda that you don't have time to shoot daggers at anyone else.
Success is better for your mental health
Research shows that "restoring psychological balance" is the healthiest form of seeking justice. Ruminating on getting even contributes to long-term mental health issues, whereas forgiveness — which is about you moving forward, not them — has a positive impact.
Success helps you claim your power
Stop talking and start doing: write that book, get in shape, apply for that new job, or finally take that risk. Focusing on yourself allows your time, energy, and resources to remain yours. Live your best life and be your best self.
Success brings more positive outcomes
Negativity breeds more negativity. Those who publicly "air their dirty laundry" often invite backlash. You don't have to finish what someone else started publicly.
Ultimately, focus on yourself
Most people are too immersed in their own lives to care about your drama. Why waste energy on revenge when the only person truly affected by the bitterness is you?