Decades of research on couples has identified many patterns that can help predict the odds of a couple standing the test of time, but there is always something new to learn. Now, an additional factor has shown potential to be important: how much a couple is willing to pause and appreciate their shared experiences.
This newest study, which comes from research at The University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign, included nearly 600 adults from the United States. Their average age was 39, and 85 percent were married, with 10 percent engaged and 4 percent in committed relationships that did not include engagement or marriage. Slightly more than half were women. Participants were enrolled individually, without their partners.
Individuals in the study completed an online questionnaire, called Joint Savoring in Romantic Relationships, that measured how intentionally they and their partners jointly showed appreciation for positive experiences they had had together. This questionnaire was derived from the Savoring Beliefs Inventory, which measures the concept of savoring within individual experiences.
What Is Savoring?
Past research has indeed established that savoring is a practice that can improve the well-being of individuals. Savoring involves an intentional pause to enjoy and appreciate pleasurable moments. It can involve anticipating them, participating in them, or reminiscing about them — but it always means that you are fully engaging with them in a positive way. Savoring is a way of being mindful about the good times in your life and being grateful for them.
Knowing this, the University of Illinois research team sought to see whether its benefits could expand beyond the individual and affect the quality of the relationship itself. After assessing the savoring scores of the sample, participants were also asked how satisfied they felt with their spouse or significant other, how confident they were that their relationship would last, and how much conflict they experienced in communication. They also answered more general questions about their stress levels, their quality of life, and their general health.
Less Conflict, Higher Satisfaction, and More Confidence in the Relationship
Indeed, the individual levels of savoring appeared to apply to couples' strengths within the relationship as well. Participants who reported higher levels of joint savoring with their partners reported less conflict with them, higher satisfaction in the relationship, and more confidence in their relationship standing the test of time.
Notably, this protective effect of savoring was even more pronounced for couples who were experiencing higher stress. So, the next time you're feeling like a relationship needs a boost? Think about how you might pause together and lean into a fun memory, plan an exciting experience, or remember a beautiful day you had together. It might just keep the good times going.