One of the most frustrating lies my brain tells me is that I must earn my rest. No matter how burned out I am, if I'm not as productive as I believe I should be, I feel guilty for resting. In my mind, there's always something more efficient I could be doing, like chores, workouts, socializing, or extra work.
This is a common pattern. If you feel guilty for resting, odds are you place too much importance on your productivity.
Bobby Hoffman, PhD, wrote in Psychology Today, "The primary obstacle is the reality that some people connect their self-worth to constant productivity. When we connect our identity to productivity, relaxing feels wrong instead of restorative."
That is exactly me. When I finally decide to rest on the couch after a long day of work, I think of all the things I "should" be doing instead: the dishes in the sink, the workout I didn't have energy for, the extra article I could be writing to earn some cash. Only after completing every other task can I finally enjoy my rest. Why? Because I earned it.
I'm still learning to rest without that nagging voice shaming me for it, but I've found some success. Here are a few tips for relaxing without guilt.
You should never have to justify your rest. You know the saying: "You're a human being, not a human doing." When you ignore your body's pleas to slow down, it will eventually force you to do so.
Rest is productive, even if society rarely sees it that way. I am far more efficient after eight hours of sleep, and I make more gym progress with a day or two off each week.
Sometimes I "hack" my brain by adding "rest" to my to-do list. This shifts my perspective and helps me view it as an important task (which it is!).
This isn't a quick fix, but it helps to work on your self-worth so it isn't tied to your efficiency or accomplishments. You do not need to "earn" rest by burning yourself out. You are inherently worthy of rest.