Many of us have taken a personality test at some point in our lives. This may have been an online quiz, a career inventory in school, or being asked to identify your "type" or strengths at work.
Personality assessments are often framed as a way to understand yourself better so you can choose careers, relationships, and lifestyles that "fit." Unfortunately, the way these tests are often presented sends the subtle message that your personality is set in stone.
But what if personality isn't a set of guardrails that define what's possible for you?
What if, instead of asking: What am I like?
You asked: Who would I need to become to build the life I want?
Personality Is a Description, Not a Cause
If you've ever ruled yourself out of an opportunity because you thought, I'm just not that kind of person, the idea that you can shift your traits may feel far-fetched. But, when you understand how psychological science defines personality, intentional personality change starts to feel more realistic.
Personality traits are simply labels that summarize typical patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving. For example, some people tend to interpret situations pessimistically, while others naturally expect things to work out. Some react quickly with irritation when they're inconvenienced, whereas others are more inclined to assume good intentions. Some people plan ahead meticulously, while others rely on last-minute bursts of effort.
We use personality labels like optimistic, empathetic, and dependable to summarize these patterns. But those labels aren't causes; they're descriptions. You're considered dependable because you think, feel, and act in dependable ways most of the time.
People frequently adjust how they think and behave. Life experiences push them to consider new perspectives, and they try out new habits. When those changes stick, the label catches up (i.e., they fill out the bubbles on the personality questionnaire differently).
Intentional Shifts Versus Gradual Evolution
Long-term studies show that, on average, people's personalities tend to change in positive ways as they age. Many become less emotionally reactive, more conscientious, more relationship-oriented, and more flexible in how they see others.
The logical next question is whether intentional effort can accelerate this process.
The good news is that psychologists have spent decades developing and testing strategies to shift how people think, feel, and behave. And, given that your personality is your pattern of thinking, feeling, and behaving, it stands to reason that these strategies apply to shifting traits.
And data support this. Studies show that cognitive-behavioral strategies can lead to 20 years' worth of naturalistic personality evolution in fewer than 20 weeks.
How It Works
The first personality change strategy is cognitive flexibility. The goal is to notice the assumptions that keep you stuck in acting like the same version of yourself. For example, someone who believes people will take advantage of them if they open up is likely to act guarded around others. Behaving defensively likely elicits distance or tension from others, ultimately reinforcing the original belief that other people can't be trusted.
On the behavioral side, change comes from experimenting with new responses. If that same person tries a small act of openness, like asking for help or sharing something personal, they create the opportunity for a different outcome. When experiences begin to contradict old assumptions, the thinking patterns can shift.
Over time, repeated changes in thinking and behavior can create an upward spiral that culminates in genuine personality change.
From Personality Labels to Possibility
Personality isn't something you discover once and live with forever. It's something you are constantly reinforcing, revising, and refining.
So, if you've ever passed on a leadership opportunity because you're "not assertive," pushed people away because you're "too independent," or avoided speaking up because you're "not that kind of person," you may be letting a personality label pull you farther from the life you want.
But with the right tools, you can help it grow in the direction your life requires.