You probably know what I'm referring to – those sticky thought spirals you can't escape even when you long to. You get so caught up in replaying past interactions, playing out possible future scenarios, judging yourself harshly, and judging others harshly, that you feel mentally exhausted, wiped out, angry, and wracked with self-doubt.
For many of us, it can easily get out of control. If you're wondering whether you're inclined to get caught up in unhealthy rumination more than is good for you, this will shed some light.
Questions to Ask
Here is a simple method of self-inquiry. It is not meant to offer you a score or a "diagnosis." What this can do is help you to think about what rumination actually looks like in daily life and how much of it you do. The goal here is to help you discern if unwanted patterns of rumination and overthinking are fueling distress in your life, and if so, whether this is something you'd like to work on.
Read the following statements and decide which of them apply to you. As you do so, think about some of the concerns you've had about difficult experiences in the past, or even as recently as yesterday, and whether these are playing a role in your ruminations.
Answer a simple "Agree, that's me" or "Disagree, that's not me" to each of the following questions:
The same thoughts keep going through my mind again and again.
I find myself reliving certain memories or events from the past, unable to let go.
I can't stop mentally rehashing conversations that happened days, weeks, or years ago, thinking about what I could have said or should have said.
I often feel as though I don't have control over the thoughts that come into my mind.
I often find myself dwelling on past events or worrying about what the future holds.
Long after I've argued with someone, my thoughts keep going back to it.
My thoughts get in the way of paying attention to the things I need to focus on right now.
Long stretches of time pass before I realize I've been caught up in my thoughts.
Sometimes it is hard for me to shut off negative thoughts about myself.
I feel a strong need to know what the future holds and have difficulty with uncertainty.
Remember: You are not scoring or judging yourself here. Evaluating the relevance of these statements is merely a tool for honest self-inquiry, to help you see if rumination is a common habit for you.
That said, if you agree with most of these statements, you are likely experiencing rumination more than is good for you, which you probably already knew, even if you hadn't put a name to it or identified it as problematic.
If you agreed with many of them, you are probably overthinking more than you want to.
If you disagreed with most, lucky you! You're probably among that rare group of people who are not problem ruminators.
For those who agreed with most or many of these statements, however, know we're in this together. Most of us are ruminating far more than we want to or than is good for us. Happily, the latest annals of neuroscience offer extraordinary volumes of information about how to transform rumination from a reflex into a resource for reflection, insight, and growth.