There's a new type of red flag making the rounds: The one who asks extremely simple questions they could easily google — otherwise known as the finger princess/prince.
It sounds niche, but someone in your life already came to mind: Instead of scrolling up in the group chat, they'll repeatedly say, "Wait, what time is the party?" Or they expect you to explain how long they should microwave a bag of popcorn. Essentially, they are the person who won't lift a finger — hence the name, which originated in Korea and is a direct translation of ping-peu.
"On the surface, the requests are small," Christie Ferrari, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, tells SELF. The problem, though, is "it subtly places one person in the role of the emotional labor provider" — the one doing the googling, the reminding, the explaining, despite everyone having access to the same information.
Sometimes, "these kinds of friends don't intentionally behave in a way that's meant to be annoying," Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, tells SELF. They might simply be forgetful or pressed for time. When these reflexive questions become a more consistent pattern, however, experts say it can signal something deeper, like entitlement. "They're used to others doing things for them," Dr. Ferrari explains. "It's a learned habit where asking is easier than engaging in their own problem-solving."
To see if your friend fits into the "finger princess/prince" persona, ask yourself a few questions:
Are they doing this repeatedly? It's one thing if it happens once in a blue moon. But if you're noticing that they're almost automatically responding with "Who's this?" "When's that?," that's when it becomes a pattern. Could they have found the answer themselves in a few seconds? We're talking about the stuff that takes two seconds to look up — like which restaurant the group agreed on or when the local coffee shop closes. Do they make any effort before asking you? A friend who's seeking help might say, "I tried looking this up, and I couldn't find it." That is more likely to be an indication of genuine need rather than laziness.
In the grand scheme of friendship red flags, a "finger princess/prince" ranks relatively low. Still, over time, even harmlessly annoying behaviors can breed resentment. "It can feel petty to address, which is why instead of naming it, people may cope by quietly pulling back," Dr. Ferrari says.
Luckily, addressing it doesn't have to be awkward. A polite, assertive approach works just fine, like: "I'm not sure. Where have you tried looking for it?" or "Can you actually look into that for me and let me know what you find?"