Understanding Awkward Conversations
Manage the situation by understanding the cause of your unease. Perhaps there are lots of long silences or maybe the other person has a strong opinion different than yours. Identify the reason for the awkwardness, and you will be one step closer to finding a solution.
If the other person has just said something surprising, it's okay to reply with, "I am thinking about what you said," to give yourself time to process the information.
Keep Awkward Conversations Flowing
There is a reason why long silences can make you feel uncomfortable. A 2010 study from the University of Groningen in the Netherlands published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology Research showed that fluent conversations lead to feelings of self-esteem, social validation, and belonging to a group.
Do as much as you can to keep the conversation going, and both you and your conversation partner will feel more at ease. A good conversation is more about making music together than finding the perfect thing to say.
Find Humor in Awkward Conversations
If a conversation has become awkward, consider doing something to lighten the mood. You can do this by telling a funny joke or story, poking fun at yourself, or finding the humor in your current situation. Keeping the mood light will help to break the ice and move the conversation forward.
Overcome Awkwardness With Compromise
Sometimes conversations are awkward because of disagreements. In these situations, always try to find a compromise. Practice empathy toward the other person, and try to understand how he or she views the situation differently than you. Doing so may allow you to accept the other person's viewpoint without having to change your own.
Listen and Paraphrase
If you don't know what to say in a conversation, try simply reflecting back what you hear from the other person. If a new friend at school is upset about a poor grade on an assignment, say something like "It sounds like you are really upset about your grade on that project."
Often people simply want to know that their feelings are acknowledged rather than be offered solutions to their problems. Doing so also relieves you of the pressure of trying to think of what to say next.
Ask a Question
Perhaps you are in a conversation that is awkward because you really don't know anything about the other person. In these situations, it's best to ask questions to try and find mutual interests that can turn into conversations.
If you know that you will be in a situation where you will be talking to strangers, try to plan at least three open-ended "go-to" questions (that start with "how" or "what") that you can use if you get into an awkward conversation. Don't struggle too hard with these either.
Ask questions to dig deeper into a topic that was discussed earlier in a conversation, to clarify misunderstandings, and to show that you are listening to the other person. Just be careful not to ask too many questions in a row, or you may come across as an interrogator.