Don't Wait — Do Things Starting Today
Spend time wisely to avoid regrets, unfinished business and unfulfilled dreams.
"We never know how many days we have left. We live our lives assuming that there will be a tomorrow and make plans for one year out. But the truth is that we really do have a limited number of days," says Diane Button, a companion for people who are dying..
"If there's something that's tugging at your heart, then pay attention to that and do it. Because it's another regret at the end of life that you had so many things that you wanted to do and you never took that first small step to get it started."
Be Kind
People who are dying are often haunted by moments when they were unkind to others, Button says.
"It's so amazing to me that you can carry something for 30 or 40 or 50 years that you might've done when you were a teenager and you're still feeling badly about it," she notes.
"It's a whole lot easier to just be kind on a regular basis and check yourself so that if you catch yourself not being kind to someone, you can apologize instead of holding it inside for a lifetime."
Today Is Special So Celebrate
Button writes about a client who had beautiful candles all over her house, but had never lit them because she kept waiting for a special day. Finally, as the woman was facing the end, the candles were lit, and she regretted not doing it sooner.
Similar scenarios happen with fancy dishes, stylish clothes and other things people accumulate but never use or wear, Button says.
"And then five, 10, 20, 30 years go by and your garage is filled with clutter that you end up having to get rid of at the end of your life," she notes.
"We deserve to have the beautiful candles lit in our house just because it's Tuesday… the message is really about allowing ourselves to experience joy."
Learn to Pause
The world moves fast, so find time to be still. Every day, take one minute to look at something beautiful — it can be a flower or the meal you're eating, Button recommends.
"We're so busy trying to get to the next moment that we're actually missing the moment that we're living in," she says.
"Pause and just be in the moment. See the beauty in everything that's right in front of you."
Be True to Yourself
Live a life aligned with your passions and values — not someone else's — and be honest about how you're feeling, even if it's not positive.
"People won't know you unless you're being truthful," Button advises.
"We don't share our hearts very easily. When we do, we find that others share back with us, and we have much more closeness and intimacy."
Cherish the Beauty of Your Ordinary Day
People often take everyday moments for granted, but they're important, Button says.
"Your life is made up of a string of ordinary days and these routines — the things like your morning cup of coffee or tea, or your afternoon walk or your morning call with a parent. The things you do in your ordinary everyday life is really your life," she urges.
"The rest of it are the fireworks, the big moments — the weddings, the vacations — and that's all important, too. But when life starts slowing down as you get older, you'll see that it's the simple pleasures of the ordinary day that matter most."
No One Ever Dies Alone
Watching dying people reach for family members who passed away long ago or call out their names in their final moments has convinced Button we'll all be greeted and "carried over the threshold" by loved ones who've gone before us.
"I see it so much. I see people are smiling, and I can see the peace come over people when this happens," she says.
"To me, it's maybe the most profound part of my work… It brings me an amazing amount of comfort and peace."