Have you ever wondered what would happen if you could meet a younger version of yourself? While the reality of that is reserved only for time travelers and fantasy novels, you can replicate the idea with an exercise that combines writing and meditation. It's called "getting coffee with my younger self," and though no actual coffee is required, it encourages you to find understanding, healing, and self-compassion.
This idea originated in a poem by Jenna Cecilia and is featured in her 2025 book, "Deep in My Feels."
It has since been replicated countless times on social media, often in the same format — a poem or prose describing the metaphoric occurrence.
There are several ways you can perform this exercise, but they all involve a bit of visualization. You're to imagine meeting a version of your younger self. Beyond that, it's up to you how it goes — who leads the conversation, the type of comfort or advice you offer, and whether or not you choose to journal or write a poem about it.
No matter how you approach it, the point is simply to reflect on your life and show yourself compassion on your journey.
Getting coffee with your younger self gained popularity in part because it mimics our innate need to look back on the past.
"As we grow older, it's natural to look back and wonder what advice we would give our younger selves, especially when facing challenges or regrets," says neuropsychologist Dr. Sanam Hafeez. "Meeting our former selves gives us comfort as if we are giving ourselves a comforting hug and supportive words from our past."
Therapist Afton Turner, LPCA, says that this trend taps into both nostalgia and self-reflection "with a hopeful perspective — showing how far we've come and what our younger selves would think of these accomplishments."
"When you frame your past self as an outsider hearing your story, it can be much easier to notice your accomplishments," Turner says. "This mental reframing fosters self-compassion by reminding us that we've been doing our best all along, and our best was good enough."
While this is a worthwhile exercise that can lead to healing and positivity, it does have some limitations. Try not to feel overwhelmed if it doesn't go as perfectly as you'd hoped.
"One limitation is that it can sometimes idealize the past, making people wish for things they can't change, which may lead to dissatisfaction with the present," says Hafeez.
If you've changed in surprising ways, your younger self may not approve. "Our younger selves may have lived vastly different lives — deeply religious and sheltered or completely nonreligious — shaping how they'd react to who we are today." Turner explains. "For those struggling with their identity and sense of self, this exercise can stir up grief or regret instead of pride."
This exercise may also lead to discontent. "It might cause feelings of guilt or regret, especially if someone feels they didn't live up to their own expectations at a younger age," warns Hafeez. "It can lead to a disconnection from the present moment, as people might get too caught up in what could've been instead of focusing on what is now."
You can take the exercise literally if you'd like: Go to a coffee shop and order yourself a drink, then sit down and visualize your younger self meeting you there. Or you can perform the whole thing in meditation, taking it step by step. It's good to set a timer so that you spend a sufficient amount of time on the exercise, but don't allow yourself to go down too deep a rabbit hole of your past.
After the exercise, it's up to you whether or how to record and share it. You can journal about the experience, write a poem, or post a photo of your younger self alongside a caption detailing your coffee meeting.
Turner suggests focusing on being "honest but kind."
"Don't just list accomplishments; acknowledge the hard moments too, as those are even more significant successes," she says. "If it brings up sadness, reflect on what your younger self needed to hear, and tell yourself that now. If it feels overwhelming, consider writing it out before speaking it aloud."
Hafeez recommends you "try to offer the same compassion you would give a friend in need. Be gentle with your thoughts and avoid harsh self-criticism."
Focus on your growth, not on how you haven't led a perfect life. "Rather than dwelling on mistakes, think about how far you've come and what you've learned from past experiences," says Hafeez. "This mindset helps you see your journey as a whole, with all its ups and downs."