When I first met my fiancé five years ago, I was incredibly anxious about the things I said to him over text. What was the perfect response? How could I come across as interested but not overeager? I couldn't figure out the answers to these questions on my own, so I asked my friends, getting their input in real time by sending them screenshots of our conversations and asking them what I should say.
Taking screenshots of our texts and sharing them with my friends seemed totally normal at the time, and felt like something that everyone was doing. But when I began studying the privacy of emerging media as part of my Ph.D. research, I started to think critically about screenshot collection and sharing. It made me see things in a very different light.
I realized that every time a friend sent me screenshots of their conversations with others, the person on the other side had no idea that we were casually dissecting what they said. It hit me that if my friends were sending me screenshots of their conversations with others, what was stopping them from taking and sharing screenshots of our private conversations? Should I be worried that the things I said over text might be shared with other people?
I don't think we should ban the screenshot feature altogether. It's a useful tool for situations like saving a recipe you want to cook later, or, more seriously, documenting evidence of illegal behavior. But I do worry that we've gone too far, normalizing use of the screenshot feature to collect and share private text messages without giving a second thought to privacy and how screenshots could harm others. I worry that it is turning us into hypocrites who, when it comes to the privacy of our conversations, have higher expectations for how others should treat us than for how we treat others.
We need to rethink screenshot culture and establish new rules for what is acceptable and what is going too far.
A good rule here would be the following: If we don't want other people secretly taking screenshots of personal messages we send them, we shouldn't take screenshots of their messages, either. I've learned from my research that having screenshot notifications encourages and enforces this kind of accountability — ultimately making people feel more comfortable sharing on digital messaging platforms. While this may diminish "receipt"-supplemented scandal, it just might save our digital — and physical — relationships.