Uber Share is one of the strangest social experiments of our time.
Three or four adults. Same small car. The silence is polite, but at the same time, it's not exactly peaceful; it's a kind of mutual hostage situation, reminiscent of the avoidance couples fall into inadvertently when they stop trying. The driver becomes a priest officiating a polite secular ritual of non-interaction.
I found myself on one of these rides recently and thought, "This is absurd. What would it be like if everyone connected in a meaningful way for a few minutes?" We've solved rocket science, gene sequencing, and real-time translation — how come we can't make a 17-minute car ride with strangers more fun?
I invented a game.
I summoned the courage to speak up, "Hey, anyone wanna play the Uber Share Game?" Consent first. Always. Because breaking the silence felt a bit awkward, I added, "We all answer three questions to pass the time. The first one is 'What's the best thing you ever ate?' I can go first."
After a moment, one person chirped happily, putting away her phone, and said, "Sure!" The others immediately fell in line.
How It Works
The game is simple. Three questions. No debate. No commentary unless invited. You can pass on any question. Here were mine, honed after many dinner parties:
What's the best thing you've ever eaten?
What's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen in nature?
What do you want to be remembered for?
That's it. Easy peasy.
Someone mentioned a favorite food truck. Then a cool restaurant from travels. Then the driver spoke up. His name was Xuan. Vietnamese, soft spoken and wise in that distinctively Asian way. "The best thing I ever ate," he said, "was a simple bowl of instant noodles." Then, after a pause, "Because it reminds me of growing up. We didn't have much. My mother would add an egg, split between us. When I eat that now, it makes me happy." The car changed temperature.
I admit the questions felt carefully designed, but I came up with them spontaneously. In retrospect, the first question was disarming because food is memory without ideology. It is a question that launches time travel. The second question lifts us out of biography and into appreciation. Yosemite. A murmuration. Snow falling. And the third question — the one that always beckons some deep reflection is about legacy: "What do you want to be remembered for?"
After a pause to think harder, Xuan said, "I want my children to remember that I loved them more than anything." This set the tone for the rest of us.
My Uber Share Game works because it bypasses the performance layer of modern identity. There is no time to curate as you do with social media. No audience to impress. No algorithm to reward cleverness. It creates what psychologists call shared vulnerability — but delightfully light and without the trauma dumping or forced intimacy. It encourages depth.
A Small Act of Leadership
We tend to think leadership requires authority, platforms, or titles. But often it's just the willingness to be the first person to speak up and say something real. In this case, to interrupt an odd social dead space, not with noise, but with meaning.
The world is optimized for efficiency and starved for connection. We outsource awkwardness to apps and wonder why we feel lonely in crowds. Sometimes innovation isn't a new technology. It's simply asking a fun question. To remind ourselves that we're essentially social beings.
If you want to try your own variant — on a train, at a dinner table, in a workshop — here are 10 questions that should work, but I advise putting some thought into designing the flow of questions:
What's a small moment from your life you wish you could relive?
What's something you loved as a child that you still love, quietly?
When was the last time you felt intensely happy?
What's a place that changed you?
What was the best advice you ever got?
Tell us about your best friend ever?
Has anyone ever told you a story that changed your life?
What gives you hope right now?
What's something you're always curious about?
What would you tell your younger self, in one sentence?
Some suggestions: Ask gently. With consent. Listen more than you speak.
You never know when a quiet car ride might turn into a shared moment of humanity — or when a bowl of instant noodles might remind you of what really matters.