The real benefits to having older friends
You're less likely to doubt your pace in life.
When your friends are of a similar age, it's hard to avoid comparing your life to theirs. Maybe they just received a promotion or set off on their honeymoon. On the outside, you might be congratulating them for reaching these milestones, but it's only natural to worry about falling behind.
"One of the benefits of having older friends who are in a different life stage is the freedom to share without conflicted feelings," Charlynn Ruan, a licensed clinical psychologist and the founder of Thrive Psychology Group, told HuffPost. "We can share our wins without feeling like we are bragging or triggering our friends who might not be doing well in that area."
They act as mentors and surrogate family members.
"Historically, across many cultures we used to live in much more supportive multi-generational communities where younger people had access to older individuals who had more life experience and advice to pass down," Natalie Moore, LMFT, owner of Space for Growth Therapy & Coaching, told HuffPost. She said that many of her clients, most of whom are in their 20s and 30s, don't have emotional support from mentors or role models.
"So, it makes sense that younger adults would seek out older friends to fill that gap," she said. "Additionally, so many adults do not have positive relationships with their parents, so an older friend can act as almost a surrogate parent to provide the type of support they need."
Aside from support, an older friend can promote a sense of continuity by sharing memories and traditions. For example, they can pass along recipes or inspire you to take up so-called "grandma hobbies," like crocheting, knitting and gardening. We know from research that taking a break from your phone can improve your mental health.
They can enhance your personal growth
"An older friend can offer candid, judgment-free feedback without the power dynamics of a parent or boss," said Jenny Woo, a Harvard-trained emotional intelligence researcher . Whereas a peer can empathise with the current job market, an older friend can tell you what it was like to make a career pivot or adjust to life in a new city.
In addition, someone who is 20 years your senior is more likely to have experience with navigating career uncertainty, identity questions or relationship concerns. "Younger people often feel more motivated to invest in their physical and emotional well-being when they see the real impacts in someone older," Woo said.